Mothers Day Bargains

Mother's Day Humor

Bridgitte Williams

Mother's Day Humor

I have to tell this story. It happens to me every single Mother's day. The conversation starts off with me asking my mother what she would like for Mother's day. Yes, I have to ask her. My mom does not like surprises. So, mom says to me that she does not need anything. I tell her that there must be something that she can use. She says, "Oh, honey, I have got you, I do not need anything else. You go buy something for yourself." I tell her that I do not need anything.

She says the same. I start over. I ask my mother if she would like to go out to eat for Mother's day. She tells me that she has food. I tell her that I know this. I try again.

I ask my mother if she will go with me, out to eat, on Mother's day. She says to me that all of the restaurants will be too crowded on a holiday.

She also tells me it is too expensive to eat out. I start over again. I tell my mother that she may get hungry on Mother's day and if so, would she like to go get something to eat? She tells me she will probably eat early. I give up on that idea.

I ask my mother if she needs some new shoes or maybe some hose. She tells me that she hates all of the new styles of shoes. She says she would not have any of them. She tells me that it would be a crime to buy her any hose since she has too many pairs already. Not wanting to commit a crime, I leave that idea alone.

I ask her if perhaps socks are needed. She tells me that it is too hot to wear socks now and asks me am I crazy.

I tell her no, I am not crazy but, you are driving me there. She gives me that eyebrow raise. I move on to another brilliant idea.

I ask my mom if she would like some flowers. She says "Why on earth would I want you to buy me flowers when there is a yard full of them outside?" I tell her it is because of Mother's day. She informs me that that is why she does not like holidays. It makes people crazy. I agree. I start over again. I mention that a live plant would look great in her home. She tells me that plants attract bugs and that they will die on her, which would depress her. I do not want to do that. I change ideas again.

I ask mom if she would like to go to a movie. She tells me that she would, if there was just one movie out there worth seeing, which she says there is not. I am about to give up but, I keep going, out of desperation. I ask if she might want a cake. She says "Lord no, they charge an arm and a leg for those things." Sigh.

I then sweetly say that she is so sweet, might I buy her some candy? She pauses at this idea. Finally. She says to me "Well, I guess that would be nice, as long as you don't spend too much." I wouldn't dare. She might ask for the receipt.

I have the most wonderful mother in the world.

Happy Mother's Day!